talking animals

British MP trips on mescaline

Wed, 03 Sep 2008 21:54:56 +0100

Really interesting to see such an eloquent person describe his experiences like this.

Why our brains are programmed to eat doughnuts | Mail Online

Tue, 02 Sep 2008 15:11:00 +0100

Why our brains are programmed to eat doughnuts | Mail Online:

The pointless “doughut” spin on this story misrepresents the experiment, apparently just because “LOL Homer Simpson!!!1” = more article views. I was left feeling hollow and led-on when I got to the end of the article and found myself questioning if that was really all there was to the experiment. Thumbs up, Daily Mail!

Homeless 007 Video

Tue, 26 Aug 2008 22:51:36 +0100

Homeless 007 Video:

This is brilliant.

"A blind journalist was given a month’s suspended jail sentence and fined 500 euros (750..."

Fri, 22 Aug 2008 14:13:45 +0100

“A blind journalist was given a month’s suspended jail sentence and fined 500 euros (750 dollars) by a French court Friday for driving while drunk and without a license.”

- Blind Frenchman fined for drunk driving - Yahoo! News UK

Superb.

THE LAME TRAIN

Wed, 20 Aug 2008 16:06:39 +0100

THE LAME TRAIN:

In all honesty I think I like the title and concept of this blog more than the actual content, although there are some amusing posts to be found.

"Rumours that Murphy is now glad to be back in Gloucestershire are un-gnome!"

Tue, 12 Aug 2008 16:14:49 +0100

“Rumours that Murphy is now glad to be back in Gloucestershire are un-gnome!”

- No place like gnome - Yahoo! News UK

So, not only does this joke suck, the pun doesn’t even make sense. Way to go, Yahoo! News team!

Wish I wasn't here ... Michael Winner has a bad day in Bognor | Mail Online

Mon, 11 Aug 2008 15:15:45 +0100

Wish I wasn't here ... Michael Winner has a bad day in Bognor | Mail Online:

An astoundingly pompous article from the “legendary Englishman”. At times ridiculous, depressing and unintentionally hilarious - it makes for a very strange read indeed.

Man Almost Loses Penis Humping Steel Bench | Weird Asia News

Sun, 10 Aug 2008 21:44:00 +0100

Man Almost Loses Penis Humping Steel Bench | Weird Asia News

"1604: Back under way at Wembley, which is in north west London."

Sun, 10 Aug 2008 16:07:53 +0100

“1604: Back under way at Wembley, which is in north west London.”

- BBC SPORT | Football | Live text - Community Shield

You don’t say, Paul Fletcher…

"apparently there’s a band called optimus prime, with jordan leppert on bass"

Wed, 30 Jul 2008 09:58:46 +0100

“apparently there’s a band called optimus prime, with jordan leppert on bass”

- Jordan Leppert

Site guesses your sex via age-old web flaw | The Register

Tue, 29 Jul 2008 16:39:00 +0100

Site guesses your sex via age-old web flaw | The Register:

Apparently I’m 58% likely to be male. So I guess it does kind of work. With that said this is using my work browsing history which is frequently wiped so I’m quite interested to try it at home…

"A judge in New Zealand made a young girl a ward of court so that she could change the name she hated..."

Thu, 24 Jul 2008 15:56:10 +0100

“A judge in New Zealand made a young girl a ward of court so that she could change the name she hated - Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii.”

- BBC NEWS | World | Asia-Pacific | NZ judge orders ‘odd’ name change

DISCIPLINED MINDS

Thu, 24 Jul 2008 13:34:17 +0100

DISCIPLINED MINDS:

An interesting excerpt from a book by Jeff Schmidt.

"In an epic, multinational sat nav cock-up, a Syrian lorry driver aiming for Gibraltar left Turkey..."

Thu, 24 Jul 2008 10:14:03 +0100

“In an epic, multinational sat nav cock-up, a Syrian lorry driver aiming for Gibraltar left Turkey and ended up in Skegness.”

- Sat nav blunder places The Rock in Skegness | The Register

So… many… questions…

Instant Rimshot

Sun, 20 Jul 2008 00:20:46 +0100

Instant Rimshot:

I can’t wait for the day when this website actually comes in use.

UK:RESISTANCE. Not making a difference since 1996: THE MOST...

Fri, 11 Jul 2008 17:01:29 +0100

UK:RESISTANCE. Not making a difference since 1996: THE MOST AMAZING PROMOTIONAL PHOTOGRAPH OF ALL TIME

Oh dear…

Walked on a bus with my chips.

Fri, 11 Jul 2008 16:17:00 +0100

I found this on the BBC’s Have Your Say section under a thread asking people to detail their most embarrassing moment. I love how it’s so ridiculous and slapstick but ends on such a solemn, sad note. Also, when an anecdote starts with the almost-sentence “Walked on a bus with my chips”; you just know it’s going to be brilliant.

Walked on a bus with my chips. The bus lurched forward and I spillt my chips on the floor. Bus was full of school girls laughing at me as I tried to pick them all up. As I was getting off I slipped on a chip and was lying on my back in the cetnre aisle looking up at all the girls in hysterics. When I finally managed to get home I discovered that there were chips stuck all over my back.

This is simply sublime. Every time he says “chips” it just cracks me up. It’s like they’re some kind of sentient, evil force hell-bent on ruining his day and the sole reason for his humiliation. Attaching themselves slyly to his back in one final exasperating slap-in-the-face. I can imagine him stood, lonely in his house having finally got home only to realise that those damn chips have managed to get stuck all over his back. His head sinking slowly in abject, crushing defeat. Wonderful.

Telegraph explains 'Why Heath Ledger will blow us' | The Register

Fri, 11 Jul 2008 13:36:47 +0100

Telegraph explains 'Why Heath Ledger will blow us' | The Register

Urban Dictionary: lunck

Wed, 09 Jul 2008 14:19:36 +0100

Urban Dictionary: lunck:

After mocking a colleague for her typo when talking about lunch, I found this amusing entry on urban dictionary. It really is a small world.

2007 Pulitzer Prizes-FEATURE PHOTOGRAPHY, Works

Mon, 07 Jul 2008 10:22:00 +0100

2007 Pulitzer Prizes-FEATURE PHOTOGRAPHY, Works:

I challenge anyone to look through this series of photographs and their descriptions without either breaking down in tears or desperately wanting to punch god right in his stupid, evil face. Incredibly harrowing and poignant stuff.